he’s pissed. i’m sad. spewed his anger on me. not really wishing to listen to it. just wanting to be in my own zone absorbing what had just happened. thinking up of a current status update. as if there could be one. ‘what a test. you failed. it puzzles me…’ and right then and there i felt this heavy feeling in my chest, a feeling i hadn’t felt before. as if some kind of health problem was posing, a hospital visit needed. what a test. you failed. it puzzles me…
puzzles me what? rewind to why i was sad. you couldn’t even… my heart beats faster thinking about it. you couldn’t even what… i no longer knew. buried beneath the anger you threw up i don’t really know anything anymore besides the fact of feeling blue…
about relationships changing. friendships that don’t get past the roadblock. friendships that let one little argument break them. i was so happy to see all of you. forget the ish that once happened in junior high… but you couldn’t? i don’t really know. all i know is that i was happy that we were brought together again and sad that you left without any kind of feeling.
a treat for a bitter soul. there, ran into him without even realizing it. just innocently checking out the menu outside the desert house. just a treat for his bitter soul. then you appear out of nowhere, past the entrance and in my direction. puzzled, yet again. where ya going? where the fuck you going? processing the situation: stogs required. stopped by a friend, a dear friend.
6am. i need to stop using stogs to calm my anxiety.
(what an update)
